Worry Is Exhausting
Worry Is Exhausting
I am a laid back Tibbie as I think I have mentioned before. I am easy going. I am not fearful. I trust Beloved and I like my life. Things are good. I have enough to eat, although I could always manage more. I have a soft bed, in fact I have three soft beds, a sofa and a lap in the evenings. I have a big garden to wander around in on the odd occasion that I feel like going outside and I have company from Beloved or her beloved most of the time.
I see life is an adventure, strangers are friends I haven’t yet met and every day is full of possibilities for new treats and even old favourites.
I am a Tibbie of great contentment.
But I live with a worrier.
With a worrier everything is an ordeal.
Beloved often has to go out to buy me more treats. As soon as The Princess sees Beloved begin to get ready she starts watching. Me, I am usually asleep and don’t notice the signs. But Zena recognises the fact that Beloved has changed her shoes and her bag is out. I think it is a female thing.
If Beloved’s beloved is around then she isn’t too bad but if we are alone she is listening the whole time for the return.
If Beloved decides to take us in the car it is even worse. As soon as we get into the car she begins to pace. She asks question after question about our destination? Are we going to see the vet? Could we be going to kennels or the worst thing of all could we be going to the groomer for a bath? I point out that I am not driving but it doesn’t make any difference!
She runs from one window to the other not caring or even noticing if she tramples over me and she makes it impossible for me to be comfortable. I give Beloved long-suffering looks and I know she understands because she has tried to get Zena to be sensible but when she’s in the ‘worry-zone’ she just won’t listen. She blocks everything out.
I think I should give up trying to soothe her I should just try to stop her pulling me into her worry filled world.
I am not sure where she gets it from, certainly not from my side of the family and as her father is my brother, it must be from her mother’s side.
She is always trying to anticipate trouble.
I accept that a healthy knowledge of risk can be good. If I was better at risk assessment I might understand that it is not sensible to run on the road in front of cars. Fortunately I have Beloved to guard me from that.
And that is the difference between us. I let Beloved sort out all the details and I am happy to let her run my life. If we are going in the car, great. Wake me up when I get there! If we are going for a walk, lovely, let me meander on the lead and enjoy the smells. I don’t want to anticipate trouble. I want to enjoy today. Unless there is any mention of a diet, then I would worry.
The Princess is different though, she worries about lots of things. She has always been this way, even as a tiny puppy.
I think she wants to be in control but realizes that in fact she doesn’t know how to control things. She wants assurances that her world will always be safe, that everything will always go her way, that nothing bad can happen to her but who can make those sorts of assurances? I guess listening to some of the stories from the dog park can sometimes cause you to worry about the future if you allow them to. I don’t.
Beloved looks after me but I don’t think even Beloved can control everything or we wouldn’t have allergies.
I tell The Princess to calm down but she never does listen to me.
I do admit that I was pleased when Beloved came to pick us up from the kennels the time we stayed for the weekend. I was a little anxious then. I don’t mind kennels, they treat us well but I am always relieved to see Beloved.
That however was a real situation, it had happened. It was change and as I’ve mentioned before I am a Tibbie who is not always a great fan of change. I like my routine, as long as that routine consists of warm and comfortable places to sleep, dry and clean places to walk and lots of food and treats to eat.
The Princess though works herself up about things that have never happened. Sometimes she can’t sleep and it is such a waste of energy. The next day she is tired because she’s let her imagination run away with her in the night. I didn’t really credit her with very much imagination at one time but when I think about the things she can worry about I may have been wrong. Pity she can’t use it in a better way though.
No sooner does Beloved kiss us goodnight and turn the light off than she starts talking about what if’s. You know the sorts of things, stupid situations that would never really happen.
What if a possum got through an open window? What if Beloved forgets to get up in the morning? What if it is raining and we don’t get our walk?
Well, okay, the last one does sometimes happen but she didn’t change the weather by worrying. It was such a waste of good sleeping time. I didn’t worry about it. There was rain, so what? Our world didn’t collapse. It just meant that we didn’t go out for a walk and quite frankly I know The Princess would go out in the rain but most of you know my thoughts about getting wet by now so I am more than happy to stay in during any wet weather.
I don’t worry about it. The dry weather will follow soon enough. There is a saying, ‘Troubles are a lot like people – they grow bigger if you nurse them.’ Beloved told me that. She’s tried telling The Princess too but so far it doesn’t seem to have made any difference to her.
I’ve tried to calm her in lots of ways. For instance I told her that if a Possum were to get in Beloved would probably get to it before it could get to us. Of course she picked up on the probably and just kept on worrying, but I am a truthful Tibbie and I didn’t want to lie.
Beloved probably would hear it and get to it first, but that would depend on where it got in and the more I think about it the more I realise that it is a waste of time trying to be logical about this scenario because it is just stupid. A possum couldn’t get in. You see how she can drag me in if I’m not careful?
As soon as I knock one worry on the head two more seem to appear. She doesn’t solve anything by worrying and sometimes I just watch her working herself up about something that hasn’t happened, very likely will never happen and she can’t stop happening anyway and wonder what on earth she thinks she is achieving.
A couple of times we have been out without her. Only to the vet so don’t think we’re being mean. Before we get into the drive we can hear her cries. She really doesn’t do alone very well at all and all of her worries and anxieties are magnified if she is without me and Beloved.
I have even pointed out the proportion of time she has spent worrying about things that haven’t happened but then she began worrying about how old she is and how fast time is passing.
It actually leaves me with quite a burden of responsibility but you know what? I’m not going to worry about it. I’m going to make my way over to my big soft cushion and have a nap because who knows what The Princess will dream up to worry about tonight and I need my rest.